When your youngest is your very last, every tiny thing that becomes a moment of growth or change becomes a permanent goodbye to all those moments for good. There are none of these moments waiting to repeat themselves in future children. These moments are it. These are the last.
One of those moments for me this morning was when our youngest asked for her "fwoot woops" (gosh I'm really going to miss the way she speaks!). But this time not just dry in a bowl, so she can snuggle with me on the couch, which has been our routine with her cereal or toast with "bwutter" or "eggies" upon request each past morning...
She wanted it with milk and a spoon. Because mommy, I'm a big girl.
One of many moments that seem so ordinary. But they are extraordinary to me. My little girl is growing up, and it feels so much faster than her three siblings before her.
She's my baby. She still climbs in my lap for snuggles. She still needs me when she wakes up scared in the night. She still holds my hand, still gives me kisses.
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be"- we love that book! And all of my children are my babies forever. Even when I can't hold their hand. Or kiss their boo-boos. Or snuggle on the couch for no reason.
But gosh I'm soaking up all of those so hard with this baby. My last baby. Because those lasts sure sneak up...you just never know when their coming. Each last of a childhood.